All five of us could never contain our excitement whenever we
were on the topic of graduation trip. However, our discussions were never fruitful;
the destination was an issue. The failure to come to a common consensus on the
destination was impeding us all from realizing our holiday dreams. Two friends
were involved in hampering the whole decision making process, namely A and B.
It has always been A’s dreams to venture to Japan. In
college, she never fail to integrate Japan and “Arashi”, her favourite Japanese
band, into our daily conversations. She loved Japan and was at the level of
beseeching us to explore Japan with her. On the other hand, B favoured Japan’s
neighbour, Korea more. Like A, she always shared with us how the dynamic Korean
culture intrigues her and she was well known for being the Korea enthusiast. Due
to their dominant characters, none of them were willing to compromise and the
five of us were constantly stuck in this stage of planning. Voting was never the
way out to relief C,D and I from the agony of being trapped in between the two
conflicting people. Even if one of them were to be out casted, neither of them
would step back and go with the majority.
This compelled C, D and I to step in and take charge. Since
all three of us were more keen towards Korea, we approached A and verbalized our
thoughts and opinions. The disappointment in A’s face left all of us
speechless. We had made several attempts beforehand to convince A to change her
mind but to no avail.On a serious tone, A suggested that we carry on
with our holiday plans without her and assured us that she did not mind
forgoing the trip. All of us pondered for a long while before agreeing on the
least ideal decision, which was to proceed with our trip without A.
Things went awry when A learnt about our confirmed air
tickets. She was in an upheaval state and refused to speak to any of us for
months. Our initially strong friendships turned sour and we were all regretful
for what had happened.
I came to a realization that all five of us should shoulder
the blame for failing to consider one another’s feelings, especially those from
A. Although she gave us the assurance that she did not mind giving the trip a
miss, but I am certain now that she secretly hoped that we did not exclude her at
that point of time. All we cared was to prioritize our own interests first and
that self-centred mentality destroyed the solid relationship we were building
on then. Through the years, I have always been wondering if there exists a perfect solution
out of that predicament then.
In your opinion, what do you think would be the most ideal
way to solve this interpersonal conflict, being fully aware that both parties were
determined not to give in?
Hi Sharlene,
ReplyDeleteI liked how easy it was to follow your post. I guess most of us can relate to this conflict. Afterall, everyone has a unique personal preference. That’s what makes it interesting. However, the challenge of finding a compromise as a group means someone will have to lose out. Unfortunately in this situation, A was on the losing end.
What would I do if I was in this situation? Either C, D or you should approach A alone. Firstly, I will try to empathize with A. I would let A share how he/she is feeling and his/her point of view. Then I would apologise to A for unintentionally causing hurt and letting A know that it was not their intention to leave him/her out. Then I would explain that the tickets were bought only when A did not mind forgoing the trip and emphasis that that was the only reason.
I hope though this, the relationship between everyone will be better.
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ReplyDeleteI really like this description of a very clear problem scenario, Sharlene. You do a good job of giving depth to the two characters who wanted to sway their friends in their respective directions for the trip. And you build up to the final decision in a way that makes me feel the impending tension. You also boil this conflict down to a very real question, one that might be easy to relate to. Now I just want to see how more people advise you.
ReplyDeleteOh yes---a few language issues:
1) verb tense problems throughout
2) Although she gave us the assurance that she did not mind giving the trip a miss, but I am certain now that she secretly hoped that we did not exclude her at that point of time. >>> sentence structure?
Thank you for your effort and for the sharing!